“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Anonymous
Fear is real and is often crippling. Though many times, fear can save us from danger. Thus, it cannot be discounted that fear is sometimes useful.
But fear is the number one hindrance from reaching our goals and dreams as it prevents us from living confidently… from becoming the best version of our self.
We experience this sneaky feeling every now and then ranging from the smallest dose to the largest one we can imagine. Everyday, whether we realize it or not, we are battling against fear. Why? Because fear either make us do something we don’t want to do because of fear or make us don’t do anything because of it. Either way, we become crippled and unable to make things happen according to how we want it.
It is like a little sneaky demon that overshadows us, holding us back from growth, success, fulfillment, happiness and from becoming the best version of our self.
Fear is often unfounded. In our time today, there is less danger unlike during the primitive times when there is danger in every corner. Thus, there is no reason for us to be fearful unless with situations that call for it such as being mugged or any other situation that has real potential for physical or psychological harm. Aside from that, we are generally safe and have no reason to fear.
Why do we fear the amorphous?
Most of our fears nowadays stem from scenes that have not happened yet and most probably wouldn’t happen. This fear only happens in our brain because of the thinking patterns that we have developed all throughout our whole life and become part of who we are.
Why we think this way is mostly because of our history, our upbringing, and our experience as we were growing up. Our false beliefs build our fears and boost our mediocrity as they live deep down inside our being – the frightened child who only wants comfort and safety, that when something uncomfortable comes, it suddenly triggers the feelings of fears.
There are also times when we fear overcoming fear. We become so comfortable in our comfort zone that we don’t want to step out and do something. The thought of overcoming fear already cripples us because it requires a lot from us. We then pass on the opportunity and choose not to be successful because we fear that we might fail.
This takes away our freedom. We don’t realize it but we are like prisoners who have been jailed for years. Being released from our prisons is like stepping into a new world that feels so overwhelming and intimidating that we may want to go back to our comfort zone.
We shouldn’t be carried away by our fears. It is then important to check our fear and we’ll be surprised to discover that it is unfounded. Cripple that fear and move out of our comfort zone for growth.
“As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.” – Robin S. Sharma
“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.” -Anonymous
“Great things never came from comfort zones.” – Anonymous
“Outside of your comfort zone is where the magic happens.” – Anonymous
Every opportunity for growth is hidden in fear
Did you know that fear is a treasure chest for growth? Yes it is! When you reach into a situation when you feel fear like public speaking, being rejected, working in a new environment and new people, having an uncomfortable conversation, undergoing a surgery – then you have found a treasure chest of growth. It’s in these situations that you will have the opportunity to find the precious out of these circumstances to buy your freedom from fear and get you past your comfort zone to fly to the next level.
What do you lose when you face all your fears? After all, we only have one life and soon whether we like it or not and that is for certain, we all die. What’s the point of spending it in fear and hiding away from growth? There are so many things to do. The world is waiting for you to make it a better place. Disempower your fear!
So how do you disempower your fears?
A. Let go of some of your beliefs
- You will never please everybody. Once you truly understand this, you will never give a damn on what other people might think about you. So go on and be who you should be and do what you should do.
- Embarrassment and Rejection. In our attempt to do what we should do to become who we should be, we often encounter a lot of mistakes to the point of looking stupid, incompetent and trying hard. This makes us fear rejection. It is just part of learning. Just get up and move on.
- Fear of failure. No one has become an expert the first time they did it. Before you master something, it takes a lot of practice and trial and error to perfect your craft. So go on and make mistakes.
- Fear is uncomfortable. Fear is always uncomfortable and you don’t want to be living with it all the time. But the only way for you to get to the other side is to get past through it otherwise you’ll get stuck. Just ride it on, it will never last and it sure won’t kill you.
B. After letting go of your beliefs and changing your mindset, take action.
- Welcome change. Change is one of the things that will surely happen to us. Everyday we change on a cellular level. It is part of the human experience. We are what we are today because of so many changes that transpired between the dinosaur era up to this day. So welcome change, embrace it. This is the way to thrive in this changing world. If you don’t, you will be left out. It may not be positive all the time, but it will definitely make you grow and come out a different person.
- Possibilities are endless, be receptive. There are millions of possibilities and therefore could lead to different outcomes. Life could lead you to a different path to your same goal but it can also lead you to an entirely different place. Be receptive of whatever comes your way. The target outcome is just your guide in reaching your goal but sometimes life leads you to a better place, to coincidences and accidental successes. Be receptive, listen to your gut feeling and be fearless.
- Map your way to your goals by making your plans concrete, but with buffer plans in case you change course. There is no one specific way to reaching your goal. So be prepared for a bumpy ride. When the road becomes impossible to pass, check your plan B and move on with it. If it still doesn’t work, move to the next plan up to Plan Z. If it isn’t successful yet then press the reset button and start all over again. What’s important is, you don’t give up and your goals are clear to you. Never ever give up!
- Look for someone who can mentor you. There are people whom you look up to whose life and work you want to follow. Try to ask for their help and guidance. It’s better than to navigate it alone and in the dark.
- Challenge yourself. If you want to grow and be good in your craft, there are things that you have to go through. Some of it may make you afraid. But if you will to challenge yourself, you can overcome everything that makes you feel afraid. Face your fear. Think of it as a sneaky demon. Look at it directly to the eyes, cut its horns and cripple its legs, it will not be able to bully you again and you can now totally ignore it.
- Don’t think small. If you want to make a dent in this world and leave it a better place, you must not think small. Always think big. You only have one life and it doesn’t serve you to play small. Go out there, let your light shine so bright, plan big, be bold and find yourself making the most challenging decisions. In the end, nothing is more important but how we lived. How we used our time here on Earth and how much love we gave. Test the water but do not hesitate to sail to the vastness of the ocean. Live an extraordinary life. You can stay safe and small but it will never bring you to your full potential.
It is not easy to be fearless every time in our life. It’s actually easier said than done. There are plenty of times that we are truly being crippled by fears. However, when we start to feel fearful we should always remember that we only have one life and we only have one chance to give our best shot. The next exercise will help you disempower your fears and regain your confidence.
Exercise – How To Disempower Fear In Your Life
It is important to be fearless for you to achieve your goals. It is important as well to know what are the things that makes you afraid and is getting in the way for you to take action.
This exercise will help you recognize your fears and figure out why they make you afraid so you can manage your fears.
What Makes Me Afraid?
It is always helpful to make time to try to figure out what makes you afraid. Are you afraid of rejection or scared of looking foolish? Come up with a list below to bring your fears into the light.
Why They Make Me Afraid?
After you recognized your fears, it is important to understand why they exist in the 1st place.
After understanding why your fears exist, come up with a reason why they are irrational. Logic doesn’t of course make fears go away but it is good to frame it this way so you can manage your fears.
After making your fears irrational, embrace the fear and then ignore it. While being brave doesn’t mean not being afraid, this only means that you have come to a point when you decided that the results of your actions far exceeds your fear of the action itself. This means that the result of your action is worth the fear that you have to go through to achieve it.
In many instances, bravery can save us as well as others. It can definitely change our lives and if we decide to use bravery to help others, it can also transform their lives.
In conclusion, whatever you fear now in your life, you can always make a way to lessen its influence on you. Just take the step, you will never know unless you try.