“You don’t need to hide yourself because you’re afraid of what others think of you. You have the choice to live your own life.”
“Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight.”
– Mark Victor Hansen
How valuable is your happiness to you?
At this point in time, can you really say that you are truly happy with your life?
If your answer is no, what is limiting the possibility of you attaining a joy-filled life?
Is there a person or situation powerful enough to rob you of your happiness?
This article will let you look into happiness in a much broader perspective and teach you about the things you have to let go so you can be truly happy.
The Myth of Happiness
For starters, happiness as beautiful as it is has been wrongly linked up to some false myths. Perceptions such as all I need is to land that dream car or job to secure my happiness', it's because I don't have a spouse in my life that's why I'm unhappy and stuck', with such diagnosis, can my happiness be a reality?
These are examples of such misguided feelings and myths.
Happiness cannot be likened to a final destination. Neither is it gathering enough wealth to buy your desires. It's, in fact, such myths and beliefs that snatch away our joy and until we wipe the slate clean and debunk such myths; attaining happiness may be a far-fetched dream.
So what exactly is happiness?
Happiness is the feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. It's being joyful over the big and little things. You're not born with happiness. It comes when you deliberately decide to shut out the negative and welcome the positive. It's the sheer gratitude of sharing laughter with loved ones and colleagues.
This beautiful state is not a past thing neither should it be a future goal or ambition. It's a beautiful relaxing and comforting feeling that comes with the now. According to Charles Spurgeon, happiness is not tied to the multitude of what we have but how well we enjoy what we have.
The Levels of Happiness
Here are the twenty things we should shut out to be happy:
1) Grudges And Resentments:
For starters, you cannot exist without people offending you. If you desire such, then pretty much lock yourself at home and refuse to see a single individual. To be a cheerful individual full of happiness, you need to drop the excess luggage of unforgiveness. Learn to forgive way before the offense arises, travel light through life and welcome joy.
2) Let Go of The Idea That Happiness Is Not For You:
This is the exact thought pattern you should pack with its accompanying negative ideas and fling it out the door. If you don't validate yourself, nobody will do you the favor. Living a happy life begins with you. So instead of thinking I probably don't deserve to be happy, start thinking, if there is anyone that deserves to be happy it is me. Walk around with head raised high, shoulder up and a big joyful heart.
While traveling through life, you're sure to meet individuals with a little more or a little less than what you have. This reality should not form a basis of comparison. You should develop a grateful heart. For starters, you don't know what they had to give up to get there. So, before you envy the glory, get a good grasp of the hidden story.
4) Backing Of Others:
Life is too short to live it by others rulebook. Most times you need to step out of the confining square and do you without seeking approval. If it makes you happy and you have inner peace then, by all means, take that step unapologetically and watch things fall into place.
5) A Partner That Aces Your Checklist:
The truth is there is no perfect person, not even one. As much as you need to know what you want in your significant other, so you don't bring to the table every Tom Dick and Harry. Your expectations should be reasonable. A person that loves you in entirety, including your perfect imperfections should do just right.
6) The Thought That You Don't Fit In:
Nobody was born a genius. Whatever makes a person blend in easily was likely learned. So instead of you living with an embittered mindset, tidy up, grasp what needs to be grasped, develop a positive mindset and steal that show.
7) Past Mistakes:
We all have faltered at one point or the other. Could have been in the area of a relationship, business, finance etc. Irrespective of the area where you missed a few steps, you don't need to beat yourself up over it. The past shouldn't pull you back, it should motivate you to do better.
Some people may hate to hear this, but, you cannot be right all the time. The ability to know when you're wrong, take some friendly corrections and make the necessary adjustments does not show weakness. It shows maturity and strength. Flexibility is one of the keys to happiness.
This may be good sometimes. However, humans fail to deliver from time to time. Your input to a job, a relationship, a significant other etc does not guarantee your output. So live life freely. Those who don't expect cannot be disappointed.
10) Toxic Relationships:
Truthfully, there are people that their presence is just outright unhealthy. They limit you and your true potentials. These are the ones you should cut loose and sail away from. Stick to people who build you up, not pull you down.
11) Intoxicating Effect Of Money:
Money in itself is great to have. However, you should not let it rule over you to the point of back benching other people and things that matter. Find a job you genuinely love doing that still gives you ample time for relationships and plunge yourself into it.
Trying to be perfect all the time in life is like trying to trap the wind. Yes, you can be pretty darn good most of the time, but attaining perfection all the time is not possible. Just live your life and put in your best at what you do.
13) Sense Of Pride:
As the saying goes, pride goes before a fall. To connect easily with people and build lasting relationships, to be able to forgive easily and move on faster, pride has to be shown the way out of your life.
14) The Fear Of Failing:
Failing is nothing but a concept of the mind. Set your goal and run after it. If you achieve it at first instance it's a victory. If it takes a little more time, it does not imply failure but experiences given to you by life to learn. As the saying goes. Shoot for the moon. If you miss you'll land amongst the stars
Being frequently judgmental on everyone and everything would in little time cause a friction in relationships you have around you which would invariably affect your happiness. Learn to correct with love and softness and develop an accommodating heart.
16) Stop Being A Victim:
Everyone from time to time has their share of bad experiences. However, to have a triumphant and joyous life, you need to channel all the negative energy that accompanied your bad experiences into something fulfilling and positive. If life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Refuse to be a victim. Nothing and no one should rob you of your joy.
17) Let Go Of Restricting Beliefs:
The truth is the human will is so strong that it can achieve whatever it sets out to do. If you genuinely desire to achieve a thing, don't permit anyone or anything poison your thought by making you feel it's not attainable. Step out and things will fall in place.
18) Trying To Make Others Do Your Bidding:
For starters controlling children may go smoothly. However, adults are not that easily humbled. Secondly trying to rule over others would create resentments in their hearts. It's best to let them find their way with subtle guidance and advice, not harshness.
Why push off to tomorrow what you can do today? Set your objectives with accompanying time limits and stick to them. It gives you satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment which leads to happiness.
20) A Heartbreak With An Ex:
There's a reason he or she is referred to as an ex. So stop reminiscing about an unpleasant time with them and forge ahead. Build new and more fulfilling relationships and just be happy.
Summarily, happiness is a choice. It cannot be forced and it's a beautiful state that should not be sacrificed in any way. So let go of any negativity and awaken your inner happiness while unleashing immense power at your disposal from a truly joyful and happy mind.