When I was very young, I always wondered why my mom constantly compared me with other people.
She would tell me what other people were doing – the neighbors' kids, my brothers, my cousins and even her friends' children.
For many years I've hated her for doing that.
“Why couldn't she be happy for who I was?” I would cry to myself.
I've carried that resentment all the way into my 30's.
A few years later, I had a deep realization and that experienced really shook my world.
My grandmother was very sick so my mom told me to travel to where she lived (200 miles away from where we lived) because this might be the last chance I'll ever see her again.
I held my grandmother's hand as we spoke for hours.
Until a point where she started comparing how each daughter-in-law was treating her, it echoed word for word what my mother told me as a child.
At that moment, I realized that my mom truly didn't know any better.
Because she learned it from her mom who probably learned it from her own mom as well.
The greatest realization was this – that when all is known, all is forgiven.
My mom didn't know any better.
She made the best choices she could based on what she was taught.
Even if it wasn't the best method when it comes to raising her children, I was at peace knowing that the words of my mom was based on the only upbringing she knew.
I said to myself, “I'm sorry, mama, I understand now. You only wanted the best for me and you made the best decisions you made based on what you knew.”
Today, my relationship with my mom was better because I no longer see myself as a victim of my circumstances and I am happy knowing that my mom only wanted the best for me.
Let us remember that our parents, no matter how flawed they are, they still love us and did the best they could with the limited information they had available to them.