3 Sizzling Techniques To Truly Reach His Heart
Sometimes having a meaningful relationship with men feels as difficult as trying to scale a mountain while wearing stiletto heels. You try to make him notice you, but he just never seems to catch on that you are interested. If he does pay attention, he may sometimes seem distant or aloof. You may be tempted to ask, “What am I doing wrong?” It is possible the answer is, you aren't doing anything wrong, but he is misreading your signals or misinterpreting their intent. To find a relationship with men that encourages him to open his heart without making you feel like tearing your hair out, try these simple ideas.
- Take control.
Men are notoriously bad at processing subtlety. A hundred years ago coyness was considered a feminine virtue, but today men often read this as female game-playing. To win a man's heart, the direct approach is best. Ditch the line about “meeting for coffee” and just tell him what you really want. “Would you like to go out with me sometime?” will get you a lot further than asking if he will help you with your physics homework.
If you find it difficult to verbalize what you want with the object of your desire, try showing it instead, especially if you know you both share a specific interest. Establishing a little piece of common ground can lead you to more things to talk about once your shared interest is noted. For instance, acquiring tickets to the orchestra or to the new superhero movie you both want to see is a way to quietly demonstrate you want him for more than just his body.
- Focus on his mind, not his body.
Generally speaking, stimulating a man's physical interest just takes walking into the room with him. However, for a successful relationship with men, you want to attract him in every way. No matter how physically attractive you are, an inability to maintain intellectually stimulating conversation is often a deal breaker for men. Ask his opinion on things you know he feels strongly about and actively listen to his answers, even if you completely disagree with him. At worst, you stand to learn something new about his outlook on life and at best you might get a chance to share a new experience with him, which makes it much more likely you'll win him over!
- Let him be vulnerable.
One of the hardest aspects of a relationship with men is that they are constantly driven by society to “man up,” “toughen up” and most of all, “don't be a girl!” However, the foibles of gender roles aside, men are human first and foremost. That means men get scared, lonely and need reassurance just like you do. Just being there and letting him know you don't think he's less of a man for having feelings shows you care enough to allow him the luxury of dropping the social facade to show the man beneath.
The same principle applies in the bedroom. Take charge by exploring his body slowly and making special note of things he seems to really enjoy. Ask him what he likes, or if there's something else he wants that you aren't doing. Sometimes the most exciting gift a woman can give a man is permission to explore his desires. He will probably reciprocate with you, making your intimacy even more exciting. Everyone likes to be seduced, but revealing one's deepest desires means being vulnerable. If you can permit him to be vulnerable without judging him, he's more likely to give you his heart without even realizing it.